Random thoughts

Chivalry is not dead. Small acts of kindness and courtesies build communities. It does not matter whether I am alone with my 2 youngest daughters, or all together with my family (5 children with my husband) - someone always stands up and lets me, Meghan and Caitrin have a seat on the subway. Someone offers to help by holding a door, or looking out for one of my children getting on or off the subway, bus, steps, you name it, even when I'm holding their other hand.

At first, I thought maybe I was just looking really pathetic and helpless, knowing it was very obvious that we are not from here (my red curly hair has yet to be matched with anyone living here, even among expats). So why is everyone being so helpful, especially given the cold, unfriendly expression that seems to occupy the faces of the people of this wonderful city?

The answer is quite simple: their outward appearance is no indication of the warmth and depth of caring that these people carry beneath their stoic appearance. They are tough people, no doubt, given what they've historically endured and experienced in their day-to day lives. But there's so much more, so much richness of culture and connectedness, even in a huge city where nearly everyone they see is a stranger.

So how can a huge city of individuals create such a uniformed front in performing acts of kindness? The threads of humanity here have been woven into beautiful tapestry of kindness, respect, and genuine love of others. They care about their neighbors (not just the ones they choose to like). And while I was a bit confused by their collective facial expression depicting coldness and detachment, it's the best example of not judging a book by its cover.

Perhaps I should't be surprised by this, but I truly am. I've been to big cities in the U.S. and haven't had the same experiences. I've seen lots of mixed messages. I've seen smiling faces who are detached and self-interested. People smile and act as if everything is ok even when their world is falling apart, even to friends and family. It's very confusing, really. Here, people rarely smile, but are surprisingly kind and helpful. In the U.S., people smile a lot and can also be helpful, but send mixed messages about how they're really doing.

Maybe when I come back from Russia I will have developed a mix of the two expressions, a blank, undecipherable look when I don't have any specific 'feeling' to express. A blank expression is actually very easy to do. It's not a frown, or a scowl; it's just the absence of expression. I can think of many times in a day where that would be a perfect expression to have! LOL! And then, when I smile, people will know for certain that I am really happy, not just putting on a happy face to cover something else that I am too prideful to share with others.

Sooo....have you tried it? Have you tried to make a 'blank expression'? If not, go try and look in the mirror. Think of something mundane, like chores or brushing your teeth (unless you really enjoy them enough to smile while doing them). Then let your face relax into one without expression. Do your smile and/or scowl lines seem less pronounced? Just think of the money to be saved on skin cream! LOL! Just kidding.

More importantly, make an effort to smile when you mean it. I think that's the most important thing I've learned so far. Don't try the old 'fake it 'til you make it'. Be real! If you're not happy where you are, what you're doing, etc., take stock. Figure out what's working, how you've been blessed, and then assess what could use some improving and make changes. And don't be afraid to let others around you know how they can help. Make it obvious (like me walking into a crowded subway with little kids)! Let people act on God's commandment to Love Your Neighbor! If no one knows, then how can they help, right? It also makes it impossible for others to be blessed by helping others. And who knows, if everyone were to act like that, can you imagine what an amazing world we would be living in?!

Ok, those are my random thoughts (my philosophical rant, possibly) for the day. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. Missing friends and family, especially the ones I have been blessed by who keep it Real! :D And yes, I am smiling for real. I promise not to even type a smile that isn't real! Ha ha! That's an easy enough way for anyone to start, right?