In the whirlwind of activities going on in December, I've gotten seriously behind in blogging about the amazing things happening here.
If you read by blog about Thanksgiving at the Ambassador's home and haven't read the outcome on Facebook, I'm sorry to keep you in suspense. It was a WONDERFUL time! We met so many fantastic people, ate amazing food (all the traditional American food, even pumpkin pie), and many new friendships were started. One woman invited me to join a playgroup the following Tuesday which I did attend with my youngest 2 daughters while my eldest 3 children were in the Russian school for their second full day.
On the topic of school, Gavin, Brendan, and Ashlynn are doing well. They are picking up language through immersion and are pleased that their teachers and classmates are being supportive and helpful in their endeavor to learn Russian. Their classmates are taught English in the curriculum as well and enjoy practicing with my children. It's wonderful that it's been a relationship of give-and-take. I was concerned that it might be more difficult for them in the transition. But it's really more like my kids are little celebrities in the school and have been welcomed with open arms.
The only communication issues that have caused any discomfort have been for Brendan (who was adamant about leaving the school at a specific time (that he believed we would be downstairs waiting for him). They have security guards who are trained in protecting the school and have strict rules for releasing students. So when Brendan was being very 'determined' for lack of a better word about leaving, the teacher and students physically restrained him and made it clear (beyond any language barriers) that he was NOT going to leave without approval. It was a good lesson for him, being as strong-willed as he is.
The other incident that helped him keep his willfulness in check occurred the day that he forgot to bring his tennis shoes to change into from his snow boots. He discovered on that day, that if you don't bring shoes to change into, that you must put plastic bags (like plastic grocery bags) on your feet and secure them with rubber bands for the whole day. Yes, I'm laughing as I'm typing this, but I can assure you that Brendan was NOT laughing that day. In fact, the was very upset about it and did NOT want to put bags on his feet. His teacher thought he didn't understand what she was asking him to do and in his rant (in English spoken so quickly that she had no idea what he was saying) about not wanting to do it, he alarmed her to the point of having big brother, Gavin, called out of his class to try to calm Brendan down and explain to him that he needs to cover his boots. I still don't know if the teacher is aware that he understood and was just mad about it, or if she knew all along that he was just having a tantrum. But another lesson was learned by Brendan that day - be prepared or accept the consequences. He's been amazingly cooperative and prepared since then.
Other notable differences in school are that meals (yes, that is plural) are free. There are 2 lunches: one at 10am and one at 1pm. The 10 am lunch is typically breakfast type foods like a pastry, cereal and such always including fruit, yogurt, and juice. The second meal is a warm meal like sandwiches, burgers, fish sticks, etc, always including soup, fruit, and tea (sometimes milk). Any leftover food from the meals are divided up and taken home by the students. It's common for us to end up with with 3 to 5 oranges, kiwis, bananas, or apples to come home each day.
The final notable difference is the level of physical roughness/play among boys here. It's commonplace for rough-housing/wrestling/whacking one another type behavior in halls among boys. This was (and still is) a bit concerning for my kids. They're not targets, just observers of how physical they are in their interactions with one another. During break time (in the hallways), boys play what my kids call 'violent video games on their PSPs', games like Mortal Combat. I find it interesting to hear their perspectives on the appropriateness of these behaviors and have taken the opportunity to educate them on cultural differences, like 2 years of mandatory military service for all Russian males. They've also made note of the many manual labor work that they see on a daily basis. They're piecing together how important a good education is and how it can unlock opportunities for the future....otherwise, they will need to fall back on their physical prowess (which is not appealing to them, thankfully).
This has been a wonderful learning opportunity for all!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Random thoughts
Chivalry is not dead. Small acts of kindness and courtesies build communities. It does not matter whether I am alone with my 2 youngest daughters, or all together with my family (5 children with my husband) - someone always stands up and lets me, Meghan and Caitrin have a seat on the subway. Someone offers to help by holding a door, or looking out for one of my children getting on or off the subway, bus, steps, you name it, even when I'm holding their other hand.
At first, I thought maybe I was just looking really pathetic and helpless, knowing it was very obvious that we are not from here (my red curly hair has yet to be matched with anyone living here, even among expats). So why is everyone being so helpful, especially given the cold, unfriendly expression that seems to occupy the faces of the people of this wonderful city?
The answer is quite simple: their outward appearance is no indication of the warmth and depth of caring that these people carry beneath their stoic appearance. They are tough people, no doubt, given what they've historically endured and experienced in their day-to day lives. But there's so much more, so much richness of culture and connectedness, even in a huge city where nearly everyone they see is a stranger.
So how can a huge city of individuals create such a uniformed front in performing acts of kindness? The threads of humanity here have been woven into beautiful tapestry of kindness, respect, and genuine love of others. They care about their neighbors (not just the ones they choose to like). And while I was a bit confused by their collective facial expression depicting coldness and detachment, it's the best example of not judging a book by its cover.
Perhaps I should't be surprised by this, but I truly am. I've been to big cities in the U.S. and haven't had the same experiences. I've seen lots of mixed messages. I've seen smiling faces who are detached and self-interested. People smile and act as if everything is ok even when their world is falling apart, even to friends and family. It's very confusing, really. Here, people rarely smile, but are surprisingly kind and helpful. In the U.S., people smile a lot and can also be helpful, but send mixed messages about how they're really doing.
Maybe when I come back from Russia I will have developed a mix of the two expressions, a blank, undecipherable look when I don't have any specific 'feeling' to express. A blank expression is actually very easy to do. It's not a frown, or a scowl; it's just the absence of expression. I can think of many times in a day where that would be a perfect expression to have! LOL! And then, when I smile, people will know for certain that I am really happy, not just putting on a happy face to cover something else that I am too prideful to share with others.
Sooo....have you tried it? Have you tried to make a 'blank expression'? If not, go try and look in the mirror. Think of something mundane, like chores or brushing your teeth (unless you really enjoy them enough to smile while doing them). Then let your face relax into one without expression. Do your smile and/or scowl lines seem less pronounced? Just think of the money to be saved on skin cream! LOL! Just kidding.
More importantly, make an effort to smile when you mean it. I think that's the most important thing I've learned so far. Don't try the old 'fake it 'til you make it'. Be real! If you're not happy where you are, what you're doing, etc., take stock. Figure out what's working, how you've been blessed, and then assess what could use some improving and make changes. And don't be afraid to let others around you know how they can help. Make it obvious (like me walking into a crowded subway with little kids)! Let people act on God's commandment to Love Your Neighbor! If no one knows, then how can they help, right? It also makes it impossible for others to be blessed by helping others. And who knows, if everyone were to act like that, can you imagine what an amazing world we would be living in?!
Ok, those are my random thoughts (my philosophical rant, possibly) for the day. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. Missing friends and family, especially the ones I have been blessed by who keep it Real! :D And yes, I am smiling for real. I promise not to even type a smile that isn't real! Ha ha! That's an easy enough way for anyone to start, right?
At first, I thought maybe I was just looking really pathetic and helpless, knowing it was very obvious that we are not from here (my red curly hair has yet to be matched with anyone living here, even among expats). So why is everyone being so helpful, especially given the cold, unfriendly expression that seems to occupy the faces of the people of this wonderful city?
The answer is quite simple: their outward appearance is no indication of the warmth and depth of caring that these people carry beneath their stoic appearance. They are tough people, no doubt, given what they've historically endured and experienced in their day-to day lives. But there's so much more, so much richness of culture and connectedness, even in a huge city where nearly everyone they see is a stranger.
So how can a huge city of individuals create such a uniformed front in performing acts of kindness? The threads of humanity here have been woven into beautiful tapestry of kindness, respect, and genuine love of others. They care about their neighbors (not just the ones they choose to like). And while I was a bit confused by their collective facial expression depicting coldness and detachment, it's the best example of not judging a book by its cover.
Perhaps I should't be surprised by this, but I truly am. I've been to big cities in the U.S. and haven't had the same experiences. I've seen lots of mixed messages. I've seen smiling faces who are detached and self-interested. People smile and act as if everything is ok even when their world is falling apart, even to friends and family. It's very confusing, really. Here, people rarely smile, but are surprisingly kind and helpful. In the U.S., people smile a lot and can also be helpful, but send mixed messages about how they're really doing.
Maybe when I come back from Russia I will have developed a mix of the two expressions, a blank, undecipherable look when I don't have any specific 'feeling' to express. A blank expression is actually very easy to do. It's not a frown, or a scowl; it's just the absence of expression. I can think of many times in a day where that would be a perfect expression to have! LOL! And then, when I smile, people will know for certain that I am really happy, not just putting on a happy face to cover something else that I am too prideful to share with others.
Sooo....have you tried it? Have you tried to make a 'blank expression'? If not, go try and look in the mirror. Think of something mundane, like chores or brushing your teeth (unless you really enjoy them enough to smile while doing them). Then let your face relax into one without expression. Do your smile and/or scowl lines seem less pronounced? Just think of the money to be saved on skin cream! LOL! Just kidding.
More importantly, make an effort to smile when you mean it. I think that's the most important thing I've learned so far. Don't try the old 'fake it 'til you make it'. Be real! If you're not happy where you are, what you're doing, etc., take stock. Figure out what's working, how you've been blessed, and then assess what could use some improving and make changes. And don't be afraid to let others around you know how they can help. Make it obvious (like me walking into a crowded subway with little kids)! Let people act on God's commandment to Love Your Neighbor! If no one knows, then how can they help, right? It also makes it impossible for others to be blessed by helping others. And who knows, if everyone were to act like that, can you imagine what an amazing world we would be living in?!
Ok, those are my random thoughts (my philosophical rant, possibly) for the day. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. Missing friends and family, especially the ones I have been blessed by who keep it Real! :D And yes, I am smiling for real. I promise not to even type a smile that isn't real! Ha ha! That's an easy enough way for anyone to start, right?
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